Dear Sean

Like most Australians I have been following along with the tragic events of the last few days. It seems almost unexplainable that someone who appeared as young, handsome and full of life as Phil Hughes will never hit another century, never don the baggy green again or never return to his family farm. By all accounts he seemed like a typical Aussie larrikin and a down to earth country kid who was lucky enough to live his dream. Most importantly he was a friend to many and was as we have seen in the last few days, admired by all. What really made my heart-break though was the photo of you wiping a tear from your face. Just like Hughes you are young, handsome and full of life until the tragic moment that the ball left your hands. I am sure the moments beforehand were routine, just like any other, after all you were just doing your job. You did not know and no one watching on knew in that moment lives would unfairly and almost unexplainably change forever. No one will ever know or truly understand the pain you are going through right, now losing a friend in such a tragic accident but please do not blame yourself, because a tragic accident is exactly what it was. Your life will no longer be as carefree as it once was, only time will tell if you find the same joy in cricket as you once did or if the demons of what has happened are far to great for you to overcome.

Sport, just like life is uncertain. Every moment that we get, whether it is at the top of our game on the sports field or in life in general is unpredictable. As hard as we try to control the game or control life, you – perhaps more than anyone – will understand that sometimes the path which life takes us on is out of our hands. We cannot control our destiny just like you could not control that ball once it had left your hands. For some of us, the uncertain nature of life is what gives us the thrill to wake up in the morning, for others the same uncertainty can be the root of debilitating anxiety. My prayer for you is that the uncertainty of life not scare any more than it has in the past few days and that you continue to live the life that you love and the life that he would want you to live. We only have one life, it is a crazy ride. We do not know what is around the corner and we cannot live expecting the worst to follow us. If this devastating and freak twist of fate shows us anything, we should learn to appreciate the time which we have left. He lived his dream and please do not loose sight of yours. I leave you with his own words, words which perhaps can bring comfort to those who are grieving and those like you who may be unsure what the future holds:

‘I’ve been in and out of the national side probably four or five times now…I don’t like to dwell on what’s happened…If you don’t pick yourself up and keep moving forward you’re going to be left right back in the pack…That’s something I’ve always looked to do, stay really positive in my mindset and pick myself up and look to get better every time I train…It’s about getting out of bed in the morning and becoming a better player, that’s my mindset because I suppose I’ve had a few kicks over the past few years.’

Does perfection exist?

These photos from thoughtcatalog.com show us how the idea of perfection is different for everyone.

Perfection is a funny word. Too many of us find ourselves striving for perfection but in reality does it even exist? How can we ever achieve perfection, if too often we are aiming for something that we have never seen before? I will be the first to admit that too often I am a perfectionist. Even right now, staring at this blank screen trying to find the ‘perfect’ words to write. I am asking myself whether I should be witty or perhaps more serious. I am asking myself not just what I want to write, but what you might want to read. But what I really want to ask myself and you as well is do we ever really achieve perfection?

These days the idea of perfection is everywhere particularly when discussing body image. From the seemingly unattainable images of beauty that grace the covers of magazines to moments captured and shared on Instagram which we comment ‘perfect’ to, there is no escaping the idea and the pressure of perfection. Is this obsession with Kylie Jenner’s lips, that fitness model’s body or your best friends hair purely adoration or does it also foster insecurity?

These photos from thoughtcatalog.com show us how the idea of perfection is different for everyone

Without hesitation almost all of us could pick something about our body that we do not like. Whether it’s the fact that you do not have a thigh gap, do not like your teeth or do not quite have abs in bikini season, studies show that up to 90 per cent of teenagers would change at least one thing about their body and the results are similar for adults. Body image issues are well documented amongst women but we should also take a second to consider the fact that the impact is remarkably similar for young boys and men. While we lust over Channing Tatum in ‘Magic Mike’, Zac Efron just being Zac Efron or if you’re me football players like Sonny Bill Williams they are having the same body image struggles that we have. Instagram, Facebook and the girls in their life tell them that they should look like a Crossfit model, be as charming as Noah in ‘The Notebook’ and somehow find the time to be the next Christian Grey. While we are in a constant battle to have perfect hair, a flat stomach and tanned skin, they are in the same battle with their mind and their body that most women face everyday.

Perfection it seems is nothing more than a culmination of society’s perception of what we should look like and how we should act. The reality however, is that we all have flaws. To borrow a line from Miley Cyrus, who I am not ashamed to say is my favourite Disney star and someone who does not try to fit in with the confines of perfection, ‘Nobody’s Perfect’. As hard as we try, trying to have the perfect life or the perfect body is a goal that is in immeasurable and quite often unattainable. The only thing we get from striving for perfection is pressure of failure when we don’t find ourselves looking like Kim Kardashian after the 30 day program in the magazine said we would. How can we tell when we have reached perfection if we do not even understand what it’s meant to be. The funniest thing about perfection is that while we often try and make ourselves feel perfect in comparison to others, no two definitions of perfection are the same.

Perhaps the real lesson here is that if we stop labelling others as perfect so we see what others think is perfect in us instead of obsessing over what we perceive to be our imperfections.